About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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