We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
