Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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