I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
