everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
