I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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