Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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