whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
