I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
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I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize