He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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