i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
it hurts more in the daytime
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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