do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
