We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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