absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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