Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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