it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
splinters make it hard to masturbate
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
