We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
