I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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