walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
