Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
