When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
