He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
