I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I enjoy the company of your penis
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
