I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
