so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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