i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
