Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
