wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Randomize
