Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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