i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm too high and old for this...
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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