mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize