So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
