idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
tonight lets celebrate not being married
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Drunk is a universal language darling
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
