I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
