I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
