he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
