My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
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That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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