I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
