she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
