he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
