I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
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when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
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You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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