yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
