Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
