I just made out with a guy for $7.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
