I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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