that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
