so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
