it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Randomize
