hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
