Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
