the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
