Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
