Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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