just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
