Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
