guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
