i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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