I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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