8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Also, beer. Big fan.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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