Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
