aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
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She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
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Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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