He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
