Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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