You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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