It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
