i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
