he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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