I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I don't think brook has ever known best
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
