I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Vodka?
Forever.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
