After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
