I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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