You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
im holly from the hills drunk
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
